I should have been a doctor

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
10/03/2017 at 13:56 • Filed to: None

Went to see the doctor who is going to shove a camera up my ass. Waited 40 minutes after my appointment time to see him, and spent 5 minutes talking to him. At a $35 copay, that’s $7/minute, or $420/hour. I know he doesn’t get all of that big money, but I can’t stand it when the office tells me that if I’m 5 minutes late I might have to reschedule, but I have to wait until the doctor gets around to seeing me. Maybe they shouldn’t take so many patients?

DISCUSSION (65)

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:01

Yes, but if you had his job, you’d spend your days looking up people’s asses.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/03/2017 at 14:03

Butts and guts!

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove
10/03/2017 at 14:04

Well, I didn’t say I wanted to be that kind of doctor. Which also begs the question, who does want to be that kind of doctor? It’s the same sort of question I ask when I go to the dentist. The techs do a great job, but who would want to look into people’s nasty mouths all day?

functionoverfashion > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:05

I have never understood doctor scheduling when they run that way. Our pediatricians are pretty punctual. But I have had similar experiences to yours, and I just shake my head.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:06

He also has back-end paperwork to do for every patient.

But then he also makes more than $35 for your visit because your insurance policy, which you pay into monthly, will be paying out the rest of his billable time.

Then there’s the actual procedure, where your $35 co-pay is much, much less than what the hospital or clinic bills your insurance behind the curtains.

ttyymmnn > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
10/03/2017 at 14:07

Yes to all of that. I don’t know what my OOP will be for the procedure, but it shouldn’t be much. I’m fortunate to have good insurance (through my wife, who makes all the money).

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
10/03/2017 at 14:07

Also, good luck and hope you make it out without too much trouble!

Noah - Now with more boost. > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:08

Yep I’ve been turned away for being 5 mins late before, and that’s just from a regular physician

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:09

Well, my wife IS one of those - she works with her schedulers to try to keep on schedule, but is constantly getting yanked in 6 different directions at once, so they fall behind at times. That can happen to any doc.

That said, though - if it’s the *norm* that they’re running 40 minutes behind, I’d find a new doc.

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:09

Well, my wife, for one. :)

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:11

Yeah, this.

I hear garbage workers make good money, and I think they probably deserve it.

ttyymmnn > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
10/03/2017 at 14:13

I’ve said many times before, thank god for firefighters, cops, EMTs, garbage men, middle school band directors, and many others. They all do extremely important jobs, jobs that I know I couldn’t do myself. Although, as a kid, I always thought it looked like fun to ride on the back of the trash truck.

ttyymmnn > WilliamsSW
10/03/2017 at 14:18

This was a referral for the ass camera. My regular doctor is often this late, but I like him and will stick with him. He’s late because he spends as long as he needs to with a patient. I think it might be the large medical practice that dictates the number of patients he needs to book. You have to book 6-8 months in advance for a physical. I might be dead by then!

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:18

hey what do you know, here in canada we wait just as long to get the camera up our asses too, but for free.

to think you Yanks have to pay to get cameras put up your asses.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:19

I have a PPO so I have to pay my deductible first. Spent 200$ with 5 minutes of my doctor’s time the other week asking for a refill on my prescription. Good luck with the colonoscopy - not the happiest moments in time.

Wacko > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever
10/03/2017 at 14:20

later that night he stuck something into the nurse too......

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:21

I for one am Glad someone became that kind of doctor, cause they saved my life this year when my intestine decided to make a new asshole inside my body.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Noah - Now with more boost.
10/03/2017 at 14:23

I threw a shit fit when the allergist office refused to see my daughter for being 8 minutes late. Meanwhile, other people had been waiting around a half hour and were on time. They had me sit and wait for 2 hours or so to ‘See if we can fit you in’. After the two hours and some minutes I stormed off and told them ‘I’ll be damned if you get any money from me or my insurance company.’ The nurse replied ‘Do you want to reschedule’ to which I said ‘well, one thing about my high cost PPO is that I can go see anyone even if my doctor didn’t send me there, I’ll be going to the hospital down the road’. I did, and that appointment went well.

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:23

Bloody socialist. How is anybody supposed to get rich that way?

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:24

I presume you’re referring to a colonoscopy, right? Most of what GI’s do involves a camera of some sort (though a lot of them enter via the other end).

I had one of those about 10 years ago - but am due again as I turn 50 soon. The prep is horrible, the procedure is a piece of cake.

And yeah, the way everything is going, practices are merging and docs are getting pressure to see more and more patients. 6-8 months is crazy!!

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:24

But then you’d have to look up people’s butts.

edit - Chariot beat me to it!

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:25

That’s not good. I had a severe GI infection of some sort that had me shitting blood. That’s all stopped now, and they never did find out what caused it.

ttyymmnn > Shamoononon drives like a farmer
10/03/2017 at 14:26

I’ll be asleep for it. My doctor did a digital prostate exam a few years ago. He said, “This may be a bit unpleasant.” I said, “Doc, you can stick a cucumber up my ass if it will keep me alive.”

ttyymmnn > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
10/03/2017 at 14:26

As I said to Chariot, I didn’t say I wanted to be that kind of doctor.

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:27

stop paying people to put things up your ass then

ttyymmnn > WilliamsSW
10/03/2017 at 14:28

Yup, colonoscopy. I had a really nasty GI bug that had me shitting blood. It’s all better now, but my GP wants to have a look. I turn 51 next month, so it’s time to do that anyway. I’ve heard about the purge. Not looking forward to it, but it might actually do my colon some good.

RIP Phil Hartman

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:30

But then I’d have to move to Canada. Hell will freeze over before we get single-payer in the US.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:33

Better: having the camera shoved up your tee-tee.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
10/03/2017 at 14:34

No thanks.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:35

Kinja'd!!!

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:36

I’ll tell you why. Money. Any specialty that is primarily procedure-based can bill for those procedures and make more money for them.

And for those who want more intellectual stimulation (while raking in the big bucks), colon carcinoma is a really fertile research ground for understanding epithelial biology and metastasis.

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:36

It is time - and best that they look to see if that bug left anything behind, too. What they don’t really tell you about the scope is that it’s actually preventative — the doc will remove polyps they find, which can be pre-cancerous. So it can actually help prevent colon cancer (not just diagnose it).

The prep sucks, but in my experience, it’s not painful. It’s just... thorough. Whatever you do, suck it up and finish the prep- - my wife gets too many patients that decide they don’t like it, and don’t finish it (or ignore instructions), which of course leads to a mess. And it means that the doc will miss polyps or - - worst case - - will cancel the procedure and make you do it over again.

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:39

Try getting that biopsied! 1000x worse than the digital exam - believe me!!! Probe is approximately 10x the diameter (est.) and sticks needles into you every few seconds. I don’t recall any anesthesia whatsoever.

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:39

I had an emergency opperation to remove 15 inches of my large intestine and clean up all the shit inside me. Had a shit bag for two months then another operation to remove the shit bag and put my inside plumbing back together.

In all i missed 3 months of work and had 2 one week stays at the hospital

ttyymmnn > WilliamsSW
10/03/2017 at 14:41

My father-in-law died from colon and related cancers because he had polyps removed and then never went for a follow-up. It’s such a shame, because he never got to see his grandsons. My father had prostate cancer, so I’ve got to be wary about that as well.

A year of so after my dad’s prostate surgery, somebody gave him a memory stick for his digital camera. He said, “A memory stick? I’ve already got one of those!”

ttyymmnn > Chariotoflove
10/03/2017 at 14:42

And for those who want more intellectual stimulation (while raking in the big bucks), colon carcinoma is a really fertile research ground for understanding epithelial biology and metastasis.

Is this going to be on the test?

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:42

Yikes. All of this also explains why gut wounds in battle are so serious. Glad you got better.

ttyymmnn > WilliamsSW
10/03/2017 at 14:43

Well, I’ll do what’s necessary. Let’s hope that’s not necessary!

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:43

so no universal heath care and metric system for you!

and I forgot, you’re a parent right? Here in canada our schools are free too

think of that when you send them off to university and college.

you will never want to pay to get things inserted in your ass again right?

WilliamsSW > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:46

So sad about your FIL. Too many people - let’s face it, men in particular - are just afraid of docs, or are afraid of what they’ll learn, etc. When a physical and follow up could have taken care of the problem.

Speaking of which, I’m overdue for my physical and need to schedule it. I’m just coming due for a colonoscopy, which will mean a lot of debate over just *who* does it (the only thing weirder than her doing it may be one of her partners doing it...)

Oh - and I almost forgot - LOOOOOOVE Phil Hartman. It was so said when he died.

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:49

I’m A O.K now, except I go shit at the office now, can’t only shit at home anymore.....

Small price to pay to be alive

I almost died that day, since It started at 3 pm, and only went to the hospital at 9-10 pm. I thought I was having a diverticulitis flair up like i been having the past 15 years. but when i was changing colours and sweating like crazy, That when i knew something was really really bad.

and may I say, Fuck that hurt. been told it’s one of the worst pains known to man.

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:50

Did they tell you what caused it?

Mid Engine > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:51

Yeah, and you get to pay 50% income tax, 15% sales tax, property tax, school tax..government takes 80% of what you earn if you’re unfortunate enough to make six figures. Then you go to the hospital and you wait 20 hours to see a doc, cuz there’s only one on duty. Source: me, lived in Quebec 48 years.

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:51

Socialist! No wonder your flag is red!

If I move to Canada, will I have to eat the poutine?

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 14:53

nope, but i had flare ups when i would eat popcorn, anything with seeds....

https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/tc/diverticulitis-topic-overview#1

Noah - Now with more boost. > Shamoononon drives like a farmer
10/03/2017 at 14:55

I just don’t understand the logic there. Total double standard. “Hey... oftentimes we make YOU late but if you’re going to make US late? Too bad, see you later.”

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 14:57

My dad has/had diverticulitis. Great.

Wacko > Mid Engine
10/03/2017 at 15:03

i’ve been here(quebec) 38 years and i didn’t wait 20 hours to get operated when I had sepsis. If i did i would be dead right now.

The Canadian system is great for the middle class. cause the middle class is taxed about 35-40% max. I you calculate what the middle class in the states pay for private health care and the difference they pay for an operation/hospital visit i’m sure the canadian will be better off.

but if you make money and are in good health the american system is more advantageous.

Wacko > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 15:06

had, meaning he got it removed?

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 15:13

Yup.

ttyymmnn > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 15:14

Wait, I thought you were talking about his prostate, which I was discussing with WilliamsSW. I’m not sure about his history with diverticulitis. I only heard about it from my mom, and they’ve been divorced for many many years, though they still talk often.

Chariotoflove > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 15:27

Nope, extra credit. Go back to sleep.

Chariotoflove > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 15:29

You are lucky to be alive. Glad you’re still with us.

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 15:32

Wifey picked up a bad cough that lasted a few days, then at 3 am she says she wants to go to the ER. It’s not that bad - I tell her they’ll just look at her, tell her she’s not dying, send her a bill, and that she’d be better waiting until the morning to see a doctor. We go to the ER anyway. Guess what happens.

They put her in a room by herself for 4 hours, look at her, tell her she’s not dying, give her a prescription that she’ll have to wait until morning anyway to fill out, and send her a bill. Granted, the billed the insurance company over 10x the copay (!!!) ...

The kicker: she works at this hospital. They will waive all fees ... if you’re in bad enough shape that they admit you. She wasn’t, so they didn’t.

I nearly bit through my tongue trying to keep myself from saying, “I told you so,” but I don’t know if that would merit an ER visit either. I’ll give her a pass on not knowing how bad a shitshow medical care is in the US though, nobody knows or cares until they have to step in it.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 15:36

Better to have been a lawyer. Don’t have to touch balls/poop and get paid more (depending on your practice)

Wacko > Chariotoflove
10/03/2017 at 15:37

I was even posting from the hospital bed the day after my operation.

Oppo on my phone was my only activity for my week at the hospital.

this is the post the day i was suppose to leave the hospital

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/hospital-update-1792807799

ttyymmnn > RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire
10/03/2017 at 15:40

If you say, “I told you so,” YOU might be the one going to the ER. 26 years of marriage has taught me that my wife’s intuition, while not always right, is almost always right.

I got a very bad case of bacterial pneumonia a few years ago. I was at a rehearsal, and within five minutes of starting to feel bad I was on the floor shaking uncontrollably. By the time I got home I was coughing blood. So off we went to the ER. A couple of massive shots of antibiotics later I was on my way home. So, you never know. Well, I knew I was really sick, but it was my wife who encouraged me to go to the ER.

Chariotoflove > Wacko
10/03/2017 at 15:41

Of course you were. Off to eat my lunch now.

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > Noah - Now with more boost.
10/03/2017 at 15:52

I agree! And to top it off they’re the ones getting money. Burns me up.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 15:58

Better still: the drugs that make Mr. Happy shrink to one quarter of his normal size and the nurse putting the binder clip on him and making faces that are aimed at expressing just how happy she is NOT to be fiddling with your Johnson.

gettingoldercarguy > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 16:16

If your budget requires a certain number of RVUs per day, you run a tight ship. Especially when patients don’t have an up front copay and thus, no financial incentive for keeping the appointment. Sometimes you have to book very tight to make all the numbers work. When you look at student loans, equipment, board fees, malpractice, staffing, CME and so on, it isn’t near that much. It’s also why FM is horrible to match into. Plus, that fee stays the same (relatively) all your life, and insurance has a tendency to decrease, never increase RVUs for specific procedures. That five minute or whatever window is required.

ttyymmnn > gettingoldercarguy
10/03/2017 at 16:27

Stop being reasonable. You’re harshing my indignation.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
10/03/2017 at 16:28

Sounds like the voice of experience.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn
10/03/2017 at 16:58

Sadly. But they didn’t find anything.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo
10/03/2017 at 17:01

Well, that’s good, I guess.